Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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