when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This is the high leading the old right now
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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