Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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