It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
