Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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