omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
