you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
