ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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