Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
