The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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