Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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