I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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