And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
