He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
