Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
