dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
