I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
