I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
