you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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