ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
