im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
