i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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