Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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