yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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