You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
