Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
