I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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