So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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