you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
