Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
