I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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