bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Farmville is her only friend.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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