Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
