some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
