i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
