Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I could fuck to npr.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Bring me that man meat
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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