Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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