I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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