a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
