Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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