She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
