we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
