in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
