just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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