Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
