This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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