He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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