You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There r osticjed everywhere
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
