So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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