I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
